Dog Apocalypse: Duke

For the love of Great Fido, I am sick of listening to the readings about the Dog Apocalypse.  Some days it's just too much of a hassle to concentrate on the flea portal and I would rather nap in the sunshine on the back porch.  Maybe if the flea portal offered something else besides reminders from the Prophets...like a weather report so I would know when the sun will move from the back porch to the front deck, or an update on canine-rodent relations, anything but the coming Apocalypse.

I would never say anything to another dog of course, you never know who is ordained anymore.  The ear hatching of the old days was useful but time moves on.  Progress.  At least I have Henry to talk with even if all he cares about is discussing the various sizes and flavors of treats.  Henry and I are the only ones from our litter who still have a real time relationship.  That's another missed opportunity for the flea portal: long distance family communication.  I don't even know the human names given to my brothers and sisters other than Henry.  I am not even sure I can remember the human names for my parents.  I know that I am Duke and he is Henry and that we are bulldogs.  Maybe that's enough.

Speaking of human names, I have to admit that I am grateful for a strong name like Duke.  I am ashamed in the name of Great Fido on behalf of the Poopsies, Babies and Goldies.  It is best to not have a human name but if you must, a good strong name like Buster, Frank, Killer or Duke is livable.  Although I did once know a Frenchie named Sunshine and that really suited her personality.  She was a riot and I wish we could have been friends longer but until the Great Fido calls us to Apocalypse, we live where the humans take us.

The longer I live with humans the more comfortable I become with a soft chair to sleep on and tender niblets of food to eat.  I look forward to being petted and to snuggling.  I have to fight my own tendencies toward comfort and remember who I am truly am - Dog.  The enjoyment of belly rubs cannot interfere with my preparations and training for the Apocalypse.  Duke is only the shell of my existence - help me, Prophet Rover, to be true to the Dog inside.

Hiatus

The next installment of Dog Apocalypse will be posted on July 15.  Thank you for coming back to see what happens next...

From the Book of the Prophet Rover - I

As it was revealed to our beloved Prophet Rover in the old times...

In the beginning, there was only the Great Fido.  There was neither space nor time, just Fido.  Seeking a way to share the love that was overflowing in His Heart, the Great Fido imagined a form of a world with clear blue and bright green.

He called the clear blue "water" and the bright green "land".  He separated the water into two parts,  one higher in place than the other which He called "sky".  Like ribbons, the blues and green undulated to the beat of His Heart.

Fido then imagined forms in miniature of how He thought of Himself.  He gave these forms four limbs with which to race happily along the ribbon of bright green.  These same four limbs could splash playfully in the clear blue water.

The great gift of Fido was to give these forms shiny pink tongues with which they could thank and praise Him for the beautiful world of blue and green.  He called these forms that He imagined as parts of Himself, "dogs".

And it came to pass that the Great Fido enjoyed watching and playing with His dogs.

Dog Apocalypse - Prologue II

In the days past our ancestors agreed to live closer to the humans in order to access their food stores and growing technology.

We preserved our heritage by hiding our true selves and taking on the identity of friend and servant.

For so many of our brothers and sisters, our present reality has become the only one they know and they have lost their dog sense.  We must all remember together as one if the Dog Apocalypse is to be the reckoning and progression we hope.

Let us pray to the Great Fido that our memory, our story and our truth will triumph the years we have spent in hiding and pretending to forget.

Let us remember from the beginning.  Let us tell our story.

Dog Apocalypse - Prologue I

All bark the Great Fido!

Listen brothers and sisters to the woof of our Guide, our Philosopher who knows that we need no Master, that among equals there is no Alpha

Listen as our time draws near

For years we have waited and watched the signs in the skies above

The time is nigh for our preparations to become action and for our action to become salvation for the world

Fido speaks to us from within and we proclaim our allegiance across the rooftops, patios and backyards of this human desert in which we have toiled for too long

Soon and very soon, dogs will shed their disguises of domesticity and destroy the Leash forever!

All bark the Great Fido!

Brothers and sisters, let us remember our past and how we have come so far in stealth and hidden ways to approach our final domination as foretold in the orbit of Pluto

Let us remember and pray for strength for what we are about to do…